Happy 2011! I'm apologize once again for missing in action. I've had such a busy holiday with working, catching up with friends, and spending time with my family. I hope you all did the same and took a break from your regular to step back, relax and do those things which you couldn't do during the rest of the year. I have missed my computer as I have hardly touched the thing which is pretty sad I must say. My favourite gifts this year were: my Marc Jacobs watch and my dress form.
I hope you got everything that you wanted for Christmas, kissed the right person on New Years and created some measurable resolutions for yourself. Wishing you the best year ahead. <3

i never thought i would hate writing so much

I thought I enjoyed writing, but clearly I don't. Every Monday I dread going to this one English course because it's scholarly writing, and so different from what I'm used to which are business and marketing plans and writing for case studies. PRACTICAL writing basically. When the eff am I ever going to write like a scholar besides school? Yet this course is killing me because my writing is so bad in it. Or so I feel. It's just thrown me off balance with my once upon a time love for writing. The funny thing is in my other English course, I'm doing so much better in and getting B+/A level because it has a more creative side. Ugh. I never thought this Monday English course would make me want to rip my hair out (which I would never do). Just had to rant somewhere. <3

insight. inmind. inlove.

I've been going a few things lately. Not just me. People around me as well. So I've got to thinking. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right. It's my opinion from my knowledge.

Live without regrets because it has already passed us. We may get the feeling of regret but suck up the situation because it can only get better from here. Every decision that you have made has gotten you to this point whether it is bad or good. It is you who had written each chapter of your life.

Keep your true friends and truly treasure them. I would rather have one good friend than a bunch of fake friends. Why keep people around you who don't believe in you? We're all partly negative, some more than others so why surround yourself with more negativity. Those true friends are the ones you really need to invest your time and energy into to get the return you are looking for.

Before you can change for the better, you need to learn to love yourself first. Sometimes you have to put yourself first to be okay. To better yourself. It's not being selfish, it's about change. And truly believe. You can get anywhere in life as long as there's a dream and you reach for it. I would rather die trying for my dreams rather than not at all.

The ultimate connection between all is to love. Sometimes love lets you down but that's the short term. You experience certain things so you can better yourself as a person and change to improve. If you love, you'll receive love in return. It's the ultimate bottom line which interconnects everyone in the world.

You have to have balance. In every aspect of your life, you need a bit of everything to create balance. Think about it. Without a balance in life, your whole world would fall apart.

Take some time to reflect who you are. Who you've become.

Be yourself. You were give the personality you have and that's why the people around you love you for being you. If everyone were the same the world would be boring. Everyone is and individual so think and act for yourself.

Have faith that tomorrow is a new day. Live for the moment, for you'll never get it back. Maybe someone will quote me one day. <3

uhhh it's called try acting your own age

Wow.. I really think Madonna should start reading my blogs about her because this is really getting out of hand. Check out her new pictures in W magazine with her new boy toy. Dude.. once again. The chick's beyond 50! <3

love day

Happy Valentine's day! I'm not a mushy person but hopefully you're doing whatever you like most and spending it with the people who love you. It's not all about the kinkyness, flowers and bears! A big kiss goes out to my readers. Xoxo Get sexy bitches!

P.S. DVB are probably the hottest couple ever! <3

love game

I've come to a realization. Besides the fact that I'm a total guy in relationships, I have figured out something. I make excuses or pick on little things that I don't like about guys and make that my reason to exit... when really they are totally fine. You know how I figured this out, when I was talking to my potential. I realized this as it felt I was trying to pick a fight with him (which is impossible) because he's such a gentleman. It's so weird! Maybe he is the right one? I just can't open myself up to it. <3

how fast is too fast?

As I slowly getting myself deeper and deeper into a relationship (I guess I'll admit it), I question myself. Is this what I really want? I've been single for so long and I'm still having fun. Am I really ready to commit? I'm not sure what he's thinking but I kind of think that he thinks I'm his girlfriend. This totally throws me up against the wall. I need to take things slowly because I'm not open to all this yet. It's been 4 years since I've been in a committed, full title relationship.

We were talking last night and we were talking about spring break. He was telling me how he wanted to surprise me and take me away for spring break. Whatever, I thought that was really sweet and thought it'd be somewhere local. Nope. He wants to take me to the Dominican. Totally cute but WOAH is all I can say. He painted me a picture of what it would be like and I really liked the idea but honestly, I'm not even his girlfriend and I wouldn't expect that until he has met my parents and we've been going out for at least like a year?! Am I crazy. Like I just don't see that as being right! Like that's moving super fast.

We're going on our 1st date this weekend. Yep, our first date and he wants to take me away. I hate dates and I think I'm going to tell him how it is and what we are.. and that's not my boyfriend. Ugh.. believe it or not I hate breaking hearts. <3

come to the cabaret

I loved Liza Minnelli in this movie and Anna Sui Bonjour Amour is my signature scent. WIERD how they look alike?! <3

come what may

Today I've been doing an awful lot of thinking. I really like all these type of love story movies and think they are so sweet. Take Moulin Rouge for example. One of my favourite movies. But why can't I just find my own love story. I tend to fall in love with others' love stories and torture myself. It's not even the guys' fault. It's purely mine and I'll admit that. <3

4 things that are a large part of my life: style, studying, school, studs

Haha I like that heading! Anyhow, I've been uber busy and I just don't know when it's going to end. So there's been a request to know the inside scoop on life. Here's a brief overview. I've been studying lots so nothing too crazy. Yesterday I stayed at my school for a long time to study with my friends and one of my boys. I find it really cute how he really gets along with my friends and actually tries hanging out with them too. I would hate to be with a guy who doesn't get along with my friends. I think I'm actually starting to get involved more with this one. WIERD. Considering it's probably been 4 years.

Anyhow, it was comfortable studying with him. You know how sometimes you can't study with certain people because that silence which you need when you study is required but you just feel awkward to maintain it? Yeah well not with him. Anyhow, the one that took me to the concert was there too, the one I established we were friends? Well I really have no clue. I talked to him for a bit and it was really comfortable. I'm pretty sure he wants to be friends.. but then all of a sudden he throws me off guard with a text of something cute which really pisses me off because I so liked him more. I don't know what I'm doing but I think he's probably much like me and likes keeping me around which is fine. I don't mind the attention. The thing is that I didn't think he was even going to bother with me after that night at the concert.

Ooh on top of everything I lost my voice completely on Monday. Had a presentation, couldn't present or talk or anything! Any if you know me, you know I can't live without a voice! It was horrid. I think it's laringitis. Is that how you spell it? Well the swelling of my throat's starting to go down but that's about it. I'm pretty happy with my life right now. I just need more motivation in my life. Life is totally draining me out and I'm not even doing what I enjoy doing best. :( But I love you for checking back everyday. <3

Jessica Stroup

Watch out for this girl. She's hot. If you know you've seen her before but can't figure out where, she's from 90210 as Silver. I absolutely love this Leger dress she's wearing on the red carpet for the People's Choice awards. I love her style both on and off screen. <3

the therapist needs therapy

I'm so used to giving relationship problem advice. As for myself, I just feel like I've gotten myself into a big rut. Maybe I deserve it, maybe I don't. Most likely not. Anyhow, it's going great with one guy. Completely getting along, and just happy. On the other side, the other guy is just out of it. His grandfather passed away and ever since then he's been going down hill. In terms of me and him anyways.

We hardly talk anymore which I would normally be okay with, but in this case he bought me Lil Wayne tickets to go with him this Saturday and we're not even talking. I even got snubbed by him. I said hi and he walked past me like I didn't even exist. It was like he didn't see me which I'd like to think in my head that he didn't. But then after one of my lectures, he is in one the same lecture hall right after me. I saw him and I said hi and I just got a dumb whatever smile. It's really pissing me off because I can't really think of anything I did wrong. He said hi to the rest of my friends. Like wtf. And there definitely is not a way he could have found out about the other guy.

Honestly I don't even know if I like him as a potential, but it's more of a thing which I've grown into legitimately caring about him. I'd be like this with any friend. The thing is I think he might be taking out his whole death of his grandfather out on me which isn't fair but I just don't know. I want to pay for my Lil Wayne ticket now. I just don't want that whole pressure of dealing with that. I dunno. I have so much stress in general and I just don't know how to deal. <3

PDA- not a big fan

I haven't been in a relationship for a long time now. By a long time I mean several years now. I'm definitely not one of those girls who need a boyfriend, but rather I'm really independent. If I guy just messes around once, I cut them off unless I feel it's worth it. Most of the time it's not and girls just don't understand that. On top of that I'm not a big person for PDA. I'm actually really uncomfortable with it. Not just for myself but for other people. Honestly do you really think other people want to see you with a guy's tongue down your throat? The answer is NO. I don't care what you say. It's fucken nasty especially when neither of you are attractive.

As for myself, I just feel uncomfortable. I don't even really like holding hands. I'll put up with it if I'm really digging the guy but I don't really like it. I'm actually a really affectionate person believe it or not. Just not all over the place!

I saw two people at school today just going at it in the middle of the main business building. Like EW no one wants to see how you guys make out. I felt like hurling. Just thought you should know. <3

nothing good lasts?

Everything went really well last night, I hate to admit it but I did start liking one of my boys more. I think it's the factor that he was modelling in the fashion show last night and a bunch of girls were hitting on him and he even got asked to model for an agency, but he brushed off those girls and just wanted to hang out with me and my friends. It was weird. Me liking something like that.

Anyways, today we talked and he was supposed to go out again tonight, but he turned around because on of his supposed friends' ex boyfriends was there and he didn't feel like dealing with drama. But why would that matter if an ex boyfriend was there? Kinda weird.. I think so. Because why would it matter if they were just friends? Right? If he's trying to play my game, he's officially lost cuz he definitely slipped up. Bah. Boys are all the same. <3

blaaah

I ended up going to a local club last night for my friend's birthday. Well, I was supposed to go to dinner first but totally forgot that I had a staff meeting. Just my luck, it ended up being a super long meeting til 8 and we had started at 6.30. Lovely. Anyways, I ended up making it to the lounge, and we headed to the club. I don't know. One of the guys came and he was acting really couply with me. I don't know what to do. I'm so not a couply person but he kept holding my hand and holding me. It was wierd. Good thing I was tipsy. Nothing crazy went down but I just have to see him at school and everything and I just don't know how I feel about this whole thing. I think I may be liking the other guy because he's starting to pay less attention to me. I'm so wierd. It's like a dumb game for me with the one who stops paying me attention when what I have right in front of me is perfectly good. I don't know. I'm sooo lost in relationships right now. I think I just need to have some space but ofcourse guys just don't understand that because girls generally like a boy all over them. Haha so much for my playing it like a guy plan. I've just confused myself. <3

why can't people just be happy with themselves?!

I totally find tanning relaxing, but the one and only time I went was for my graduation in high school. Sure, I love myself tanned in the summer, but lets face it. Girls and guys are tanning so much now a day and are becoming addicted. It's ridiculous. In the UK they are turning to hormone injections to help them achieve their desired shade. This hormone is called Melanotan, and there needs to be about 10 injections. You need to do this every day for 10 days and if you're not happy with that you can continue these injections. Apparently, after you have reached the desired tanness, you just do it once a week. That's soo gross. Like for me I have flaws which I'm not happy with, but it's just wierd how people aren't happy with their own skin colour. Like... really?!!!?! Frankly, i just don't get it. You don't want to look like Jessica Simpson in this pic..or do you?! <3

sweet is in

All the Spring/Summper 09 collections are coming in and they are all about sweet, delicate flows and just prettiness in general. I was looking at the Versace catalogue and found this gorgeous dress. It's sooo unique and different. Although it's black, the cut outs of hearts are cute and chique and the same time. Verace manages to do it again. I want it! <3

new years resolutions

As I mentioned before, we all should be setting New Year's Resolutions. I mean yeah we're great, but there's something that we all need to work on. Reflect from last year and see how you could change yourself and how you want to be as a person and work towards that. I just started creating a list but I'm adding more for sure. They aren't in too much detail because you're seeing them not me. But my real list consists of my goals and how I'm going to reach them. A few of my resolutions are:

• Get at least a B in all my courses
• Get into 2 things I'm applying for
• Eat Healthy
• Exercise on a regular basis
• Live life to its fullest
• Don't forget about the people who matter most

The last two are more of reminders. I'm planning to buy a new pin board and decorate it and hang it in my room so I see it all the time. This is to remind me of what I need to do and how I'm going to reach it!



Like Kanye says, "reach for the stars cuz if you fall you'll land on a cloud!"



<3

chick flicks

So yesterday I went to the States for a day trip. Can you believe I bought nothing on a shopping trip!? Nada. So devastating. It really pissed me off actually. Anyhow, I came home and the roads were super icy. It was really sketchy/scary! My friend and I decided to make plans. As I headed down the hill to her house the road narrowed on a 2 way street. My car gave out and wouldn't let me break! It was sooo scary as I was going head on to a huge SUV. Thank God he moved his huge car to the side otherwise there would have been a huge accident.


I ended up getting to my friends house safely. We had a HUGGGE conversation to catch up before watching The House Bunny. We just wanted a light chick flick movie. The movie was dumbly hilarious and extremely predictable. We'd laugh 5 minutes after because we weren't sure whether or not it was just dumb or funny. No matter what, we'd laugh anyways.


And can you believe.... I forgot to watch The City! Whitney's show. I love it. It's better than The Hills and it's oh so juicy. If you haven't watched it, go find it because it's amazing and you havvvveee to watch it. Anyhow, those were my reviews. I ended up going home later laaaater because I was too scared to drive home. But I faced my fears and ended up getting stuck in the snow right outside my friends house. It was sooo annoying and pissed me off. I just didn't know what to do so I called my friend that I just left her house and she was helping me through it. So probably after 15 minutes I got out of that mess of snow! Ahh. Eventful? Perhaps. <3

the problem with New Years Eve

1) Everything's too expensive for what it is
2) Friend's can't agree on a place
3) It's overall just one giant hype

People are paying $60-who knows what to try and make one night of the year amazingly fun, when most of the time it ends up in a dramatic mess because you try to effing hard. They are paying these crazy amounts of money to count down from 10 and kiss some random whore. Wow, I can count backwards too and I don't have to be a sleaze at the same time! Why couldn't I just be at Times Square.

Can you believe NYE is tomorrow and as for plans I know nothing. I know it should just come easy, but it hasn't and frankly, it's been pissing me off. It's nice to have an event to be stressed over rather than school work but still. But it's just super dumb I find. Personally I'd like to have a party with a bunch of close people I'd like to spend time with. But as for now it does not seem to be going that way! <3