Saturday, November 29, 2008

it's not you.. it's me


So I received a call today from Mr. Submissive and we ended up talking for an hour. Totally got along, went well, it was just an overall good conversation. Anyhow, I've been thinking about it and I just don't know. Yeah we get along, yeah everything's well, but it's me. My commitment issues are taking a hold of me. I know, things have just really started but it just doesn't feel like I know exactly what I'm doing, and if this works out that means I'd have to commit and frankly, I'm scared.

Just putting yourself out on the line and maybe having something bad happen? I guess it's also about risk and I have to jump to see whether I fall or fly. This is all happening so suddenly and I just don't know what I want and it's not fair to the guys I know that much. I just have to keep telling myself one step at at a time. Usually I'm so confident, but when it comes to boys it gets blurry. We seem so compatible, but I don't know what I want?! But this whole time it seems like I've been trying to find Mr. Right. *sigh*<3

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